Gestures like these will never get old... thank u :-)

I hope this one will live longer than the other flowers hehe

Raya Open House @ Mali's residence

Special thanks to Mali and her wonderful parents for hosting the great raya feast... it made me feel a little bit less home sick... :-)

I didn't know how important the middle finger is..

...until i sliced it with a knife i just sharpened. This is what happens when i'm too enthusiastic about cooking. LOL. Ok, ok, I didn't slice my finger off (Thank God), but something bad always happen to me when i try to cook. hehe.

But.. this will NOT put me off that's for sure! I have a lot more to learn. For now... the left middle finger is out of commission.. not that i use it often anyway, but hey it feels good to have the option of using it, rightttt. Oh well... there's always the right middle finger. LOL.

To all chefs, i salute you for your bravery.

It's a warzone out there.

You know you're bruneian if:

1) you hate to tan.
the fairer our skin the better we feel. so companies that sell tanning products will not make any money from us.

2) you travel overseas to shop.
shopping comes first. sightseeing... later. if there's extra time. and that's only... if we feel like it.

3) you go around in circles around the carpark, until you get a spot right infront of the shop entrance.
the closer the better, cos we bruneians hate to walk. why? cos then we'll be sweating. and sweating makes us look bad - unless we're wearing cool nike/adidas/branded sports gear. LOL.

4) most, if not all, your cars have the same number plate.
the only difference is the letters infront of these numbers. why? cos it's cool. if you're bruneian, you know exactly what i'm talking about. :p

5) you spend a fortune to look good.
from cars to clothes to handbags to watches. they all gotta be of a brand we all know. if we haven't heard about it in our part of the world, we won't buy it. cos then we can't show off. we get insulted when ppl ask 'huh? what brand is that?' followed by... 'oh, never heard of it'. 9 out of 10 bruneians will either kick your ass for saying that, or mumble under their breaths plotting your demise. :-)

And if you're not a Bruneian... but have one or more of the characteristics above, you are a bruneian citizen in my book. :-)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar... Ucapan selamat hari raya ini ditujukan kepada semua ahli keluarga dan rakan-rakan di mana saja berada... sama ada di tanah air, ataupun di tanah lumpur, atau apa jua yang sewaktu dengannya. Dengan ini juga saya ingin memohon ampun maaf zahir dan batin. And... uhhh... this is probably one post in a year where it's written in Malay... cos i guess it makes me feel like i'm at home. But in the end, i always revert back to english cos it sounds so weird blogging in Malay. Biasalah, wannabe org swiss kan...tapi jubuuu itamm. apakan.

Anyway, the best of luck to all the shoppers out there in Brunei. I'm sure this week will be a hectic time at the shops. Bad news for those who like to buy stuff on the last minute (like me) but good news to all the shop owners - you make the most money at this time of year i'm sure.

Sigh...What i would give right now to jarah (kiss) the hands of my mum and dad... and to spend time with the whole family during Hari Raya... :-( To all of you out there who are also away from home and family... i feel your pain guys.. but take comfort in knowing, that you are not alone! let's all suffer in lonely, painful silence together.. :-) or better yet, we can suffer together with some cheesy raya songs in the background.

To all my readers out there, i will take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness from all of you. Especially to my mum and my dad... Uh, my brothers can ask for my forgiveness later (i'm waiiiittttttttinnnng here guys LOL). Just kidding. Sorry to all my brothers too. I know i've been a rebellious daughter over the years, a bitchy sister and i'm sure also a nasty gf/ex-gf/cousin/niece/friend/colleague at times. So for all my mood swings, catty comments, bitchiness and whatever hell i let loose over the years, i'm truly very sorry. I must admit, i've been immature and childish (not that i've improved much nowadays, but hey, i gotta start somewhere riggghhhhtttt).. but i promise things will change for the better. :-)

With this, i wish you all a memorable raya with your loved ones, be safe on the roads and try NOT TO VOMIT all the food that you ate from the open houses... chehhh... you lucky buggers! :p (ok ok sorry, that will be the LAST insult for all of you. for now..heeee). Don't forget to give alms to those who need it, especially the orphans and the poor... not everyone is blessed to get new raya clothes every year or have parents to celebrate with. And last but not least, be grateful to Allah for your life and send a prayer to those who have left this earth...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!

Cooking attempt #68 took 5 hours and 15 mins.

I try to avoid cooking, like the plague. You guys who know me very well know how cooking makes me feel. But! I know this is something i cannot avoid forever. There is no way i can buy take away everyday and have two-min noodles in between. :-) I knew moving to Geneva would be my 'calling', as i like to put it - for learning to cook.

Thank God for the co-chef that helped me host the sungkai over the weekend @ the Collex residence. :-) Cheers.

fat kurmas to break the fast

Chicken rolls (compliments of the co-chef)

Sweet and sour chicken

Crispy beef

Steamed broccoli, beans and carrots

Love doesn't make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

p.s. Thank u for the sweet flowers :-)

Cooking attempt #64 took 2 hours, 35 mins.

Success! Ok, almost. I kinda burnt the lamb chops (I know, you can't even tell they're lamb chops). I forgot to mix some garlic, onions, chilli and pepper. hahaha. oh well, that would be a tip for my next cooking attempt #65. I hate eating by myself, but fasting kinda gave me some motivation to cook. It's the kill-switch to my boredom, and slaving over the kitchen will keep me from looking at the watch all the time. :-) At one point, i was thinking, who needs to exercise when all you need to do is to cook! It's a lot of work. The cleaning up after is already an 'amazing' experience on its own. So now, i have a new found appreciation for all the chefs out there who cook for a starving army on a regular basis. :-) I'm beginning to like cooking, i see it as a challenge i must learn to face.. :-)

Work it, girl.

Oh yeah!

God chose to be anonymous in this one. :-)

i just went through my older posts in this blog. i was astounded as how diary-like this blog is. of course, only i know what i was feeling at the time of writing... and i realise that i'm slowly, but surely, maturing gracefully. :-) the amount of time i complain and bitch is less compared to the amount of time i'm smiling and happy. that is good news for those who have riled my anger before. (i think). :p

i have also decided to change the title of my blog. from 'white as snow. black, like my heart' to the one you see above. my heart, as you can see, is no longer black, LOL. Thank you, God, for everything.

let the good times roll...

The curse is broken.

awaken from my deep slumber

the world in suspended animation

i find my saviour, my salvation

waiting by my side

a knight in shining armour
my soul's desire
a man, unlike any other
hotter than fire, in your eyes
i can now finally rest in peace

because

i found... the One.

Book of Dreams.

I've been having strange dreams lately. But who doesn't? :-) So! I've started to keep a notebook and place it right next to my bed. then i can write my dreams down as soon as i wake up. just last week, i dreamt of a set of numbers, apparently said to be super lucky for me. i remembered these numbers when i woke up but forgot all about them a few hours later. now i can't recall what the numbers were. dang! i could have been a lotto millionaire by now. LOL! anyway, i thought it would be interesting to write it down since i like writing anyway, and it would be fun to read it a few years later. An idea for you too.. :-)

who knows...

it may be the key to unlock the secrets of your subconscious mind...

Love actually.

A few of my colleagues that are over 30 are going through a rough patch right now. Not that it's important to you, but they were telling me that when you're younger, you have options. So you take things for granted. Once you get a little bit older, the pool of available potentials become smaller, and you end up having a friend called... TROUBLE. It's an eye-opener for myself, because all these friends are not only attractive and intelligent but funny as well. You can cut humour into two and still, enjoy their company. Huh.

Good luck to all of you out there, those who are already in love or still searching...

I'm in love... with food.

The fasting month of Ramadhan makes me appreciate the simpler things in life, like:

1) traffic jams - because it focuses my frustrations on the wankers on the road, instead of my hunger.

2) my money - i always make the same mistake of going shopping when i'm super hungry. makes me wanna buy everything off the shelves. LOL

3) people who can cook - this is the time for me to max suck up to them and be extra friendly (so i can eat their great food). :p

4) people around me - they understand why i don't talk as much, and when i do i say nasty things. thank God for understanding friends. you are my family for now, until i meet mine. :-)

To all Muslims out there, don't forget to pray for yourself, your family and the departed. Oh and don't forget to ask for forgiveness from your parents/guardians/elders. You do it once a year, so it can't be that hard! so go do it, dammit. Ehem, i mean... as i was just saying, God bless!

oh! the drama!

Wow, it's so shocking to see very, very disturbed emotional people when they are in the ZONE. Seriously, you need to take a chill pill and just... CHILL!

I find it amusing when these people look at small details and blow it out of proportion... people say and i quote, 'things are not what they seem'. true... but you know what? in most cases, they are EXACTLY as what they seem.

So... i say, just relax, enjoy life and partaaayyyyyy!

or better yet.. here, have a cheesecake. LOL

Check it out!

To all my bruneian readers out there, do check this site out:

http://mahligai-online.blogspot.com/

Order early so you can get the goodies in time for raya :p

No worries, mate.

There are so many people out there (me included) who are, for whatever reason, stressed out to the max nowadays... So here are some tips which have always worked for me:

1) smoke and drink lots of alcohol
KIDDING! actually i don't think that doing these will help. maybe as a temporary distraction, but won't solve anything in the long run.

2) get enough sleep and meditate
no point in getting cranky when you're already stressed out. don't you agree.

3) eat properly and exercise
i should take my own advice LOL no more burger king for me.

4) play or listen to music
it takes me to another world completely...

5) pray
actually this should be on top of the list. when you can, pray... and talk to God.

6) avoid negative people
this includes backstabbers, drama queens, people with max low self-esteem, people who make you feel like crap... do what i do. just walk away.

7) surround yourself with family and good friends
they understand you the most. you need a network of support where you can drown all your sorrows and keep them where they belong - the pit.

8) travel alone
save enough dough to do this. you get to discover new places, meet new people and more importantly, you discover yourself.

9) emerse yourself in activities that make you feel good
be it painting, blogging, riding your motorbike, or just plain watching DVDs in the comfort of your own home... do things that make you happy. you need time off from stressful surroundings and annoying people...

10) spoil yourself
look after yourself... no one has the right to stress you out, unless u let it...

11) start appreciating what you already have
switch on CNN and i'd say you're LYING if u tell me that the world isn't so farked up. we are blessed to be alive and kickin'.

12) clean up your mess and get organised
im referring to your life. and your work. pay those outstanding bills, clean the messy attic, declutter your desk (declutter? LOL). the more organised you are, the more in control you feel over your life.

try these... and if they dont work, i'll knock some senses into you with punching gloves. LOL!

Don't be naughty now.

Happy fasting to all my Muslim readers out there. We started fasting here last saturday (like Brunei)... so that means... no eating, no drinking, no smoking, no swearing, no backstabbing, no perving, no porn, no uhhh... basically anything that will satisfy your 'primal needs'... during the day.

The days are longer here now since it's summer. So basically we have to be good little boys and girls between 04H47 and 20H38.. hehehe. But as the month progresses, the time to break our fast gets earlier... to around 19H45. so it's not too bad!

Good luck.

Listen to the lyrics of this song....

It's so deep and painful, i love it. LOL

Home Sweet Home.

After being in Brunei for a week or so, I've realised a couple of things...

1) i can't stop eating

2) people love to spend money. like me. cos there's nothing else to do.

3) nothing spells like diarrhea than milo ping. for me, anyways LOL

4) i don't understand why traffic lights are placed at the entry points of round-abouts. aren't people supposed to find and work their way at the round-abouts anyway? if that's the case, then why not get RID of the round-about and replace it ONLY with the traffic lights instead?

5) surprisingly no.4 works (if you're confused about what i meant in no.4, don't worry - so am I) LOL

6) 'soalan bonus' - my relatives never fail to ask me the big question 'So! When are you going to get married?' erkkk, do i have the words 'baby maker' written on my shirt? Geez.

7) certain emotions expressed in Malay will not make any sense in english. Like, 'Mun paham bisai' (direct translation: if understand nice) and 'siok kalie ah, buliehhh' (direct translation: fun maybe ah, can...). Plus, it's less funny in english.

8) Although people say we get fined for speeding on the road nowadays, i can still speed and tailgate the police without getting into trouble. LOL

9) people-watching and gossiping here come naturally. other than spending money of course. i just forgot how bad it was.

10) everything is so cheap you wanna cry.

11) people like to show off their belongings and say that they are super expensive... and when i ask them how much? ... uhh... i'm sorry to say, but! things in geneva are wayyyy moreee expensive. more so than the U.S. (BUT i can't even imagine how much stuff cost in Japan!!).

12) it was silly of me to think that squat toilets no longer exist. they still do. Durrrr!

So as you can see, i have this love and hate relationship with this place... but i can feel that the longer i stay here, the more i want to be here. This is my home after all... where i was born...

I'm looking forward to go back to geneva... this will be my home for now... let's see what the future holds for me... :-)

to be continued...